"I am a doctor."
Spoken with the sort of finality as would be expected of a marathon winner or the Tour le France cyclist. For if any could rival those peaks of endurance, an apt competitor would be the MBBS graduate.
My father is a doctor. Two of my aunts are doctors. An uncle and a cousin are as well. Not accounting the distant and not so distant, my extented family has seen its fair share. That my father was the first was not lost on me, rather IMPRESSED upon and none too subtly. Still I will credit my parents for never implying their discernable expectations. Long story short, I sweated it out and managed to get an MBBS seat. Short story elaborated on, two years of exile and nerve wracking prep later, I managed to be placed in the 4th ranked college by date of founding.
Everyone was proud. But me. Don't mistake me. I was proud too. But I felt relief outweigh pride and significantly so. Here was a chance to be among the CREAMY LAYER OF STUDENTS for once. Whirlwind of a five years later, I now am a doctor. But there is no finality.
About 40 thousand odd MBBS graduates accompanied me last year. And when I say the journey is but merely starting, 39999 would say AMEN.
What is it about MBBS that it is so highly regarded? And why do the graduates not realise that? Simple questions, requiring complex answers.
Our journey began in 2007. That we had to pass all subjects in the first year or have ourself make a seperate batch was not lost on us. And the staff made sure it wasnt either. Imagine our feeling when we learnt we had evaded a bullet only to be put in front of a firing squad again. The true horror of the situation dawned upon me when my adopted sister from our batch failed. She was a pretty strong willed person for breaking the news with little tremble in her voice. But I felt the helplessness and the finality of an unnecessary sentence dictating the course of life. Yet such is life. Hindsight.
All was not hardship. We had our moments of joy, fun and pranks. Dissection hall comedies, me "SINGING" in class! Forging New friends while struggling to maintain the old. We were naive.
The second and third year require enough mention for but the sake of completion. I barely remember one useful thing I did during those two and a half years. Dont blame me! I just about managed to escape the firing squad too rememeber!!! But I do remember this conversation I had with a lady at the rotary convention.
She- My son has finished his 5th sem!
Me- Great aunty! Were is he studying?
She- XYZ clg! Which year are you in?
Me- Second year.
She- Still in second year? Y? U failed sem exam?
Me- No aunty! Our secind year is 1.5 yrs.
She- So u studying 6 months extra? Is it for extra credit?
Me- No aunty our exams for second year s only after 1.5 years. Our total course s 5.5 years.
She- But y do u have to study extra 6 months?
Me- ( good question) cos tat is our course duration aunty!
She- Oh! So all have to study or only u?
At this point am not sure if she being blockheaded deliberately.
Me- Everyone aunty.
She- I have never heard this before!
Me- smiling! ( there are more things in mere earth than are dreamt of in ur puny brain aunty)
So when our engineering friends forged ahead to placements, we were still contemplating our second year exams! And when they did get placed, I was in third year. Our clinical year brings several memories. Trying to diagnose cases not knowing head from foot, bravely answering nonsense and getting laughed at by seniors.
I remember this case our chief asked to examine. There was a murmur in the wrist with a nearby scar. He asked us the diagnosis.
My friend- There is a pump implanted.
Me- There is some machine implanted.
My other friend- There is a vibrator there!
The only gal in our group- Dunno sir.
Now I'd compliment him for not losing his head then and there. But he never said a word to us after and never took a class for us ever. Tough when we had to face our exams.
And when I mention exams I must say, we ought to rename ourself the GUINEA PIG BATCH. Each year we would sit for a different pattern and the distressing thing is it has continued to plague us in pg. But am gettin ahead of myself.
So entering final year, having had my life turned upside down ( irrelevant story, but there is one), I once again faced the firing squad and now I was nonchalant. If not for my friends I'd have died there. But as it is, I slugged it out, racing from posting to posting, ward to class and of course some fun. Now point of notice! We never had any break between papers or subjects. So if we were unfortunate to have our exams start on a Monday we'd have 5 continuous days of exams. And what with the exam pattern changing every few days we only confirmed the pattern proposed on the day after seejng the question paper.
Let me describe the feel. You are on trial. You know not the seriousness of your crime. You know not the prosecutor. You know not the jury or the judge. You know not if you have exonerated yourself untill a few months. And you know not how much. Six months is not a mere time period, it is a mental blow. A sentence so barbaric, that it breaks not your body, but your soul.
And once again I felt the sorrow of losing one of my best friends, and frankly a guy who deserved more than me to have passed, not making it. 4 and a half years of a journey as varied as a anything in this world. And we were ready to go test our mettle on the good people.
Now most people who have finished would shudder at the word am about to mention. "CRRI"
Nothing anyone said could have prepared me for that one year. 40 plus hours of continuous works. Having our respect stolen, trampled upon, spit upon, laughed upon and humiliated in severals ways all the while not having the chance to better our education, with praises so sparce we forget its meaning and being scolded for the mistakes of persons we did not even know existed does not sum up and neither does us justice. There is no job that is outside out job description. Merciless seniors, pathetic yet problematic patients, and the staff nurses who seem to thing they are above all. I pride at being compassionate. I hav cried when I lost a patient under my hands. Felt helpless watching babies die. Fought with and lost against God several times. And in some way there was a ray of sunshine. A few praises from a few patients made our day. Felt the rush of diagnosing in the rare occasion we were allowed to. It was a cacophony of emotions. Draining yet distictively fullfilling. And finally we graduated. Moving on to coaching centres and hospitals and married lives!
And now let me tell you of an amusing tale that happened recently!. The man was an acquaintance.
He- So what are you doing now? Still in clg? ( not even Dr.Sheldon Cooper would miss the sarcasm)
Me- No. I hav finished.
He- So u are a doctor? ( incredulous finality) Congrats!
Me- Thank you! ( hoping the conversation would end)
He- So where are you practicing now?
Me- I am preparing for my pg entrance exam in kerela!
He- oh! You are doing your Pg in kerela?
Me- ( if only) no no. Am in a coaching centre to prepare for the exams!
He- You are in a coaching centre to prepare for the exams?
Me- Exactly!
He- So how long will you study to study pg! Ha ha ha ha ha! ( obviously it was some big joke! )
Me- (Gritting my teeth) hopefully an year.
He- So you gonna specialise in Medicine or Surgery?
Me- Either would be good. Depends on my rank.
He- Try for radiology! Heard it is easy to get!
Me- WHAT?!?!?!
He- Yes. Radiology or Neurology is good!
Me-! ( smiling) ofcourse uncle ll try
He- (smiling) dont worry, even Kidney study is good. Cos we have two kidneys la! Ha ha ha ha ha ( no idea why he laughed then. Promise)
Now I'd thank my mom for rescuing me then. Am sure almost all have such an encounter. MBBS has lost its sheen. No longer is it enough to have four letters behind your name to call yourself a doctor. No longer does MBBS command as much respect as it once did.
Most of my friends who chose the engineering field have successfully completed two years of work. Some hav added more letters to their credit. And yes, they would have their own stories of offices, and job hunting. And I dont begrudge them that. But I just wish to say as movie stars would, the glam is just sham.
Now in Aug 2013, 6 years after I started college. I have earned perhaps a few thousand during my CRRI period but only with my parents supporting me as well.
Some of my friends hav started working and some did earlier as well. Not being exposed to such usefulness, I feel a hesitation in saying what I said at the begining.
Good happens to those who are patient, better for the tolerant, and the best for the persistent. So goes my philosophy. Am eager to make it big. But not impatient. My time to shine may be delayed but not denied. And I will struggle forward at my own pace.
Remembering I have but spoken my views and only but a fraction, bottomline - MBBS, is a lifelong commitment. Not a casual fling! The level of dedication it demands is supreme, for human life is sacred. It is not an easy ride for all.
